I’m sitting in the last row of the Beverly Community Centre
arena, beneath a long heater hung from the ceiling, at present producing no
heat. This means of course that I’m in Beverly; except, as far as I know, no
such place exists.
I think I’m actually in Rockton, which for most of you means
I’ve now named two places you’ve
never heard of. I know that Rockton exists because I’ve been there several
times to attend their “World’s Fair” (why it’s called a World’s Fair I will
never know, but I see no benefit in challenging their reach) and I know that
the arena in which I now sit, getting colder by the second, is no more than a
minute down the road from the fairgrounds which annually hold court to, ahem, the
world.
I suppose it’s possible that there is a place called Beverly, but I just can’t imagine two places as
small as Rockton and Beverly existing so close together. What purpose would
that serve? Technically, if I am to believe the highway signs, I am in neither
Rockton nor Beverly, but within the limits of the fine City of Hamilton. I am
inclined however to discount this claim as I have noticed, as perhaps you have
as well, if you are on the right roads, you can find a sign indicating that you
have entered the City of Hamilton anywhere from Windsor to Parry Sound, making
Hamilton a land mass roughly the size of Belgium.
Searching for clues to where I am, I look around the arena,
my eyeballs slow to move in their now frozen sockets. On the far wall I see a
large sign: “Home of the Beverly Bandits.” Championship banners cover the wall
to the left of the scoreboard, spilling over to the right, where a space has
been made for future championships. The opposite end boasts just as many
banners, my admiration for this hockey powerhouse, unnamed still, growing with
each banner.
In the corner, high on the wall, there’s an old plastic
clock, donated by the Lions Club of Rockton. Beside it, a single banner announcing the “Rockton
Rotten Shots”, a hockey club established in 1995, by now disbanded
or royally unsuccessful, I cannot tell.
Between the penalty boxes, I notice the timekeeper’s booth. The
brown, painted, steel support beam that runs up the wall, behind the booth, rises
like a pipe from the booth, the two inhabitants seeming to sit
inside a plexiglass woodstove. Beside the booth a collision repair facility
from Waterdown advertises their services, a second sign for the same business
on the boards. “Insist on us!” they implore, causing me to question not just
their advertising budget but how many options there might be for body work in this
area. The other businesses list Rockton, Hamilton, even Ancaster as their
locations. Where the hell am I? My confusion grows.
And then I remember. I’m watching my son play hockey. I’m
happy. It doesn’t matter where I am. And I’m cold. Really, really cold.
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