I'm over my head...with bees

While they say that self praise is no recommendation, I could tell you about some things that I do quite well. I probably wouldn’t feel the need to share that if last night hadn’t been one giant reminder of a few things I do poorly and even some things that I don’t do at all.

Last night my next-door neighbour knocked on my door to tell me he had something to tell me. He went on that he had noticed whatever it was, but still hadn’t told me about, several times before and had always forgotten to tell me. He said that when he saw it again, just now, that he had to tell me or he would likely forget again. I realized a) that I have the same problem, b) that perhaps all men truly do have lizard brains, c) I have a good neighbour and d) that I still didn’t know what had led him to my doorstep.

He told me that he noticed the bricks on the corner of my house were shifting and that I should really take a look at it. This sounded like a reasonable solution and I know how to look so off I went.

I saw the problem and couldn’t help but wonder how a reasonable home owner hadn’t seen it before. I also wondered how long a colony of bees had been living in these same cracks. As a home inspector I was a failure and I wasn’t overly confident in my abilities as a bee exterminator either.

My neighbour stood and watched me as I looked at the shifted bricks and the buzzing bees. We engaged in a short discussion about whether they were bees, wasps or hornets, but I’m not convinced either of us knows the difference. He suggested that I should deal with the “bees” first, then worry about the bricks. Seemed logical, but how exactly was I going to do that?

He told me that he had some spray for bees and that I’d be welcome to it. He told me he had the same problem years ago with bees getting into the ceiling over his kitchen and he and his friend (who is a bee keeper) wore bee suits to cut out some drywall because honey was starting to bleed through the ceiling. He asked if I had a ladder to get up to where the bees were and offered me one of the dozen ladders he has around his bee free property.

I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others, but at that moment, I couldn’t help feeling incompetent as a man. I hadn’t even noticed the problems with my house, had no bee spray of my own, know no beekeepers, have never even seen a bee suit close up, have only a 5-foot step ladder and have nooooooo idea what to do about shifted bricks! How had I even been allowed to buy a house in the first place?

My ladder in position, I made my awkward climb up the three steps, looking like a man scaling the outside of the CN Tower, who had just looked down. I sprayed the cracks and anything that moved with the bee spray and wondered if everyone watching me (my neighbour, my wife and my kids) was thinking the same thing?: it’s only a matter of time before he gets stung.

The bees will need further treatments and the bricks will need to be fixed. I really don’t know what to do about the bricks, but won’t be surprised if my neighbour tells me I’m welcome to the scaffolding, mortar and seven different trowels that he keeps in his garage-for occasions just like this.